Sugardeprivated Oneshot
by Sami Kurama's Stalker
Summary: Yes, a sugardeprivated oneshot. If you don't like author involvement, you've been screwed over. Very mild implied ShishixBotan. Rated for alcohol use and mild language.


**This is the result of flipping out over having a totally awesome YYH shirt, being reeeally hungry, school approaching and having your eyes burn like hell. I DON'T OWN YU YU HAKUSHO!**

**Jin: Ah was s'pposed t' say that!**

**Too bad!**

A far time ago in a galaxy not so long away there was an authoress without inspiration. She made Play-doh models of her favorite YYH characters (in order!)—Kurama, Jin, Hiei, Shishiwakamaru, Touya, Yusuke, Botan, Kuwabara, adult Koenma, and...well, that's it. She pulled a thin spellbook off the bookshelf and uttered the word that would change and create lives...

"FLIBBERDEEGIBBERTY! (Not my word, it's Ketsueki's. Damn you for being creative Ketsueki!) she yelled.

There was a poof and they all suddenly came alive.

The certain authoress grinned.

She ran over to Kurama and hugged him, only to have a sword pressed to her neck and to be pried off by Kurama. So she ran over and gave Jin a hug. Jin, being in one of his most cheery moods, gave her a hug back. That is, until she got an ice sword pressed to her neck by Touya. She nervously shuffled away.

She started messing with Shishi's hair until he started scowling at her. So she ran over and played with Botan's hair until she made a cat face to make her stop. So she walked over and started poking Yusuke's head to see what slicked-back hair felt like until she had a Spirit Sword pressed to her neck by Kuwabara. Yusuke started giving him weird looks while the authoress walked over to Touya and started messing with his hair to see if it was hair or a turban. She scowled at her and flicked her on the head. She wondered what would happen if she hugged Hiei and kissed him. So she stalked up behind him, and wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him on the neck—

Only to be slapped on the back of the head by Koenma.

"Who are you anyway?" everyone asked at once, before giving confused glances at one another.

"I...am...the authoress!" she made fake thunder cracks in the background.

"we know that," everyone said simultaneously, "but what's your name?" they all gave each other even more confused looks. "Stop that!" everyone yelled at the same time. "I SAID STOP! Okay, what's your name? I SAID STOP THAT!"

So they all stopped.

"Sami," the authoress revealed herself.

"Oh," everyone said.

Then a big fight broke out.

Botan won.

She stood on top of one of the unconscious people, panting, holding her oar in the air. Just to make sure all anger had been vented, she whacked the unconscious person she was standing on.

Now poor Shishi was even more unconscious.

Sami yelled out sadly and hugged the unconscious bird. Botan looked at the girl's sympathy and frowned. she hugged Shishi too. Jin, sympathetic for his friend, the haggy girl, and the oar girl, hugged Shishi too.

Touya, seeing Jin being sad, hugged him too.

Kuwabara, feeling pitiful for the crazies (except Touya) hugged the bird as well. Koenma and Yusuke decided to join in, then Kumara, who dragged Hiei joined in. They were embracing him for about 47.3 seconds when he opened his eyes groggily and felt embraces all over his body. He yelled and jumped a bit, causing everyone to drop him.

He landed with a 'Tromp' on the ground.

He looked up at everyone, growling, horns forming. "Who started that?" he growled.

Everyone pointed at Sami, except for Sami and Kuwabara who pointed to Jin.

"Me?" yelled Jin. "I thought she liked Shishi so ah decided t'join in the huggin' 'cause ah felt sorry for 'er!"

Unfortunately for Jin and his fast talking abilities no one understood what the hell he said so they just ignored him while watching Shishi strangle Sami.

"'Ey!" Jin called. "Anyone 'ear me!"

Apparently they didn't. Luckily Botan broke the two up just before Shishi drew his sword. Soon she was hit in the back of the head and pinned to the ground by Hiei, who had an angry look on his face.

"That's for your little display of affection," he said after poking her in the eye with his claw. Fingernail, claw, whatever the hell it is.

Luckily Jin had taken off one of the crisscrossing cloths (not clothes) over his chest (just one more dammit!) and let Sami wrap it around her head as an eyepatch. Unfortunately, instead of slanting it so one eye was still visible she had to be a ditz and put it on like a blindfold. It didn't take her long to run in to something,.

"What the—" Kurama turned to see what hit his backside. He saw Sami lying on the ground giggling like an idiot.

He sweatdropped.

"Why are you wearing Jin's shirt...or...whatever is?"

"'Cause, one, he offered me to wear it after Hiei almost poked my eye out, and two, he looks sexy without it."

Kurama shrugged. "Good enough for me."

Kurama went to somewhere.

Sami bumped into Touya, who asked why she was wearing Jin's shirt thing on her head.

She gave him the same reasons.

Jin opened a cabinet that appeared out of nowhere.

"Look!" he said, pulling out a bottle, "Sake!"

He started tossing bottles, and after he did, everyone started chugging.

Everyone was drunk in 9.782 seconds.

So here we go with a chain reaction!

Sami (who was still blindfolded) tripped and landed on Botan,

Who ended up throwing her bottle,

Which hit Yusuke in the head,

Who responded by punching Kuwabara,

Who punched Kurama,

Who fell on the table where Hiei was lying down,

Who woke up and bolted upright,

Who knocked Kurama off the table,

Who got knocked onto the floor,

And fell unconscious.

No one cared, of course, they were beyond drunk.

Hiei poked Sami in the other eye for kissing him on the lips, and Jin was feeling sympathetic for her. he was the least drunk, because he was the most immune to it, because he drank a lot.

Sami jumped on the table.

"O-kaaaaaay, everyone!" she slurred. "I gooooottts an annouhcement! Lessen up!"

everyone sat on a couch and listen to Sami's drabbling slurs.

"Ookaaaaaaayyy! Iiiii'm gonna write Touya in a lemon wiiiiiith..." she stopped for a moment, to think of a random person to put Touya in a lemon with.

"Ummm...Botan!"

Botan squealed in a shrill tone and hugged Touya.

"I know ah don't have a chance with Kurama so he goes wiiiiith..." she thought a moment.

"Yusuke!"

The two high-fived...but they missed.

"Jin, you go in a lemon with...me!" she went over and tackled Jin where they started snogging each other drunkenly.

Botan was caught snogging Hiei, so that wasn't good.

"Stay away from my fire apparitiontion...tion..." Kurama swiped his fist but missed by about four miles.

"Ya wan' summa this?" Botan asked, standing up, swaying and tottering.

.:LATER:.

* * *

Shishi and Botan were passed out on top of each other on the couch. Hiei and Kurama passed out while MAKING out, and Yusuke and Kuwabara were unconscious, conveniently next to each other. Sami and Jin were...well, somewhere else, which I may post on cuz I really don't want to get into that.

Touya had frozen a bottle of sake on accident and had broke it over Koenma's head. Now he was covered with broken glass and melting sake.

A baseball bat flew out of nowhere and hit Shishi in the head (sorry fans, I loooooove Shishi with all my heart, I'm a fan girl, but I'm not bashing him! He's just fun to poke fun at sometimes) and left a huge bump on the top of his head. He looked up groggily.

"Daaaaaamn…." he slurred. "My head hurts!" he felt the bump on his head. He looked up and saw Botan lying on top of him. He decided to be polite and let her sleep, so he (upside down-ly) placed his hands on the floor and tried to slide the lower half of his body from underneath Botan. About an inch at a time, slowly and smoothly, carefully…

He landed with a thump after doing a backflip on his stomach.

"Ow," he muttered. He looked at Botan. She looked like she was about to cry. He put a finger on her forehead and she looked happy. he moved Kurama's finger on to her forehead. She started sobbing. He put his finger.

She was happy.

Kurama's finger.

Botan was crying.

Shishi's finger.

She was happy.

Kurama's.

Sad.

His.

Happy.

Kurama.

Sad.

Him.

Happy.

She giggled. "Shishi…." she droned.

Shishi raised his eyebrows and put his whole hand on her head. She giggled giddily.

Other hand. She squealed and laughed.

Shishi drew back nervously.

* * *

Everyone was awake with hangovers. Sami walked into the room. Okay. Everyone except Shishi, Kurama and Jin have to leave now."

"FLIBBERTEEGIBBERTY!" everyone except Jin, Shishi and Kurama disappeared.

Kurama was already out the window to find someone slightly (yes, truly slightly) more normal. Jin left to find Touya.

That just left Shishi…..

* * *

**Whew! That took two weeks. Two weeks! I love this. I may make a sequel only if ya'll want me to.**

**Shishi: Read and review…**

**It's 4½ pages long!**


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